I went to Costco the other day. My goal was simply to buy some bulk items that save you money (paper towels – toilet paper – diapers – cereal) If you do it right – it works. I haven’t bought shampoo in two years. I’m not exaggerating.
Going to Costco is like trying to beat the house in a Casino. You have a certain amount of money to play with and you win some more but then you get greedy and lose everything. We’ve all been there. In the case of Costco you can go in for a rotisserie chicken and some blank DVD’s and come out with a four man canoe, a twenty pound bag of flour, and the collector’s edition of the “Chronicles of Narnia.”
I spent two hundred more dollars than I’d planned. How did it happen? Well I was with the wife who found the perfect pair of sweatpants. (baby bell Capri yoga drawstring 100% cotton whatevers) I countered that with the unneeded purchase of the “Munich” DVD.
But my craziest impulse buy of the day was the new Gillette Fusion razor. This is the one that has five – count em’ FIVE blades to shave your face. The first blade pulls up the whisker, the second blade suspends its rights, the third blade blindfolds the hair and takes it to camp Gitmo, the fourth blade plays Guns –n- Roses music really loud until… the fifth blade removes the beaten, withered, whisker and returns it to the earth from whence it came. A more intimidating product has never existed.
I used to know a comedian who did a prop parody of the original Gillette Track Two which was the grandfather of the Fusion. He pulled out his mock up card with a diagram of a four razor version showing all the ways this fictional futuristic hair eliminator worked. It always seemed to be a crowd pleaser. People laughed at the absurdity of such over kill. Surely we’d never see anything like that in reality. It’s kind of like another Bush in the White House after already having one. Hey, wait a minute… But of course it did happen - the track three, four and now the fusion…
I don’t know for sure but I can’t imagine that this one can be improved on. The next step has to be some kind of lazer technology. That’s right Damn it. I want a shave so close my razor can find WMD’s hidden in the second layer of skin beneath my five o’ clock shadow. I want a bunker busting shaver!
By the way, they make a fusion that comes with a battery and vibrates. I assume the vibrating action gives you even a smoother, closer shave. Hey if you want to really live dangerously – shave your privates with this baby. There’s no thrill like having five blades coursing through your pleasure patch like an old-fashioned push mower.
Please treat yourself to this surreal experience – visit the Fusion website featuring the super hot lab chick Cassandra who will make you feel like James Bond being briefed for his next mission.
http://www.pg.com/getintouch/index.jhtml?p_sid=opOSfI7i
File this one under – yet another reason why everyone hates the U.S.
Good Night and Good Luck,
LD
Going to Costco is like trying to beat the house in a Casino. You have a certain amount of money to play with and you win some more but then you get greedy and lose everything. We’ve all been there. In the case of Costco you can go in for a rotisserie chicken and some blank DVD’s and come out with a four man canoe, a twenty pound bag of flour, and the collector’s edition of the “Chronicles of Narnia.”
I spent two hundred more dollars than I’d planned. How did it happen? Well I was with the wife who found the perfect pair of sweatpants. (baby bell Capri yoga drawstring 100% cotton whatevers) I countered that with the unneeded purchase of the “Munich” DVD.
But my craziest impulse buy of the day was the new Gillette Fusion razor. This is the one that has five – count em’ FIVE blades to shave your face. The first blade pulls up the whisker, the second blade suspends its rights, the third blade blindfolds the hair and takes it to camp Gitmo, the fourth blade plays Guns –n- Roses music really loud until… the fifth blade removes the beaten, withered, whisker and returns it to the earth from whence it came. A more intimidating product has never existed.
I used to know a comedian who did a prop parody of the original Gillette Track Two which was the grandfather of the Fusion. He pulled out his mock up card with a diagram of a four razor version showing all the ways this fictional futuristic hair eliminator worked. It always seemed to be a crowd pleaser. People laughed at the absurdity of such over kill. Surely we’d never see anything like that in reality. It’s kind of like another Bush in the White House after already having one. Hey, wait a minute… But of course it did happen - the track three, four and now the fusion…
I don’t know for sure but I can’t imagine that this one can be improved on. The next step has to be some kind of lazer technology. That’s right Damn it. I want a shave so close my razor can find WMD’s hidden in the second layer of skin beneath my five o’ clock shadow. I want a bunker busting shaver!
By the way, they make a fusion that comes with a battery and vibrates. I assume the vibrating action gives you even a smoother, closer shave. Hey if you want to really live dangerously – shave your privates with this baby. There’s no thrill like having five blades coursing through your pleasure patch like an old-fashioned push mower.
Please treat yourself to this surreal experience – visit the Fusion website featuring the super hot lab chick Cassandra who will make you feel like James Bond being briefed for his next mission.
http://www.pg.com/getintouch/index.jhtml?p_sid=opOSfI7i
File this one under – yet another reason why everyone hates the U.S.
Good Night and Good Luck,
LD
posted by Lou D. at 12:37 AM
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